Thoughts of mom...

I've always been a loner. I value my solitude. People who know me may not view me this way. I'm friendly, easy going, a high energy kind of person. Introvert is not a word that would be used to describe me, yet that is a part of me. Maybe it's the part that makes me the creative that I am. I was a shy, quiet child. Losing my mother very young, I spent countless hours alone; painting, drawing, writing, playing make believe with my dolls and stuffed animals. I sometimes wonder, would I still be the artist I am today, had I not lost her? Maybe I would have been more so? Maybe she would have pushed me more? Maybe I would I have done better in school? Then again, losing her may have made me the creative I am. Throughout my life there have been these unanswered questions. I never talked about my mother when I was a kid, especially in school. I didn't want any pity from my friends. As I get older it seems more important to keep her close. And in my solitude I sometimes find her.